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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875393">Where I Belong</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantWriter85/pseuds/ConstantWriter85'>ConstantWriter85</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes with children, Car Accident, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Driving, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, POV Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Soft!Bucky, Whump, Whumptober, field triage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:14:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,991</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantWriter85/pseuds/ConstantWriter85</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Endgame, Bucky has been drifting, unable to find his place in the world that’s left. Out for a drive to clear his head, he stumbles upon the scene of an accident, saving a life and finding a place for him to belong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>250</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warnings: Whump, Description of a Car Accident, Drunk Driving, Blood/Injuries, Field Triage, Angst, Soft!Bucky with little kids</p><p>A/N: This is a 3 part mini-series, it was originally going to only be a one shot for @whumptober2020 but I got carried away (like I always do lmao). The prompts for this part are: (7) Carrying, (Alt 7) Found Family, (10) Blood Loss, (12) Broken Bones, and (28) Accidents</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky liked to drive the back roads on his way back from the city. He absolutely hated the freeway. Thousands of assholes driving too fast, cutting him off, brakes being jammed, and worst of all—the traffic. It didn’t seem like many people even enjoyed the simple act of going for a drive anymore.</p><p>Bucky hadn’t driven much before the war. You didn’t really need a car in Brooklyn, and back then they had been so poor they couldn’t have afforded one anyway. He drove a bit during the war, but then it had been jeeps and heavy trucks, dodging the mud and the potholes and the Germans.</p><p>Not very relaxing.</p><p>No, the most Bucky ever saw of an inside of a car was when he and Steve would hitch rides down to New Jersey or upstate to escape the heat of the city. And when they did hitch, it was usually out on the back roads, a lot like the one he was on now. In fact, with Artie Shaw playing on the radio and no other cars on the road, he could almost imagine he was back in 1938, hitching upstate with Steve in the front seat of a farmer’s truck.</p><p>People were nicer back then. They were more open, unafraid to help a fella down on his luck, to give a lift to a couple of strangers. Nobody would dare do that now, it seemed. Everybody was in a big goddamn hurry, running from point A to point B, their heads in the sand. After years with Hydra, missing everything, Bucky was more than glad to slow down and enjoy the little things.</p><p>Like tonight.</p><p>Bucky was enjoying himself right now, just listening to the music and enjoying the freedom of driving his own truck. He’d been doing that more and more, just going for a drive to clear his head. He knew it worried Sam, but he didn’t know how to explain it to him. He didn’t think Sam would understand.</p><p>After the Snap, after Thanos and all the rest, Bucky had drifted. Steve was gone—he’d died a few months after Tony’s funeral. Sam was the new Captain America now, and he’d brought Bucky on as a full-fledged Avenger.</p><p>He supposed he should feel good about it, but mostly he just felt tired. He felt directionless. Most his friends and all his family were dead. Sam tried to include him in things, and he really meant well, but Bucky still felt like an outsider at the Compound.</p><p>He didn’t know where he belonged anymore.</p><p>He slowed as he went through yet another sleepy little town, picking up speed again on the other side. It wasn’t that late, but there weren’t many people out on the road tonight. Up ahead, he could see the tail lights of another car, going a bit slower than him but not by much.</p><p>Bucky adjusted his speed and stayed back behind the car—he wasn’t in a big hurry to get back to the Compound. It wasn’t even a decision he made consciously, he just did it.  Later, he would be amazed how that one little decision would have such a profound impact on not only his life, but the life of two others he would come to call family.</p><p>A tug on his subconscious in the direction of fate.</p><p>Another vehicle was approaching in the opposite lane, the headlights cresting a hill a few miles off. Bucky could see something was wrong right off the bat. The oncoming car was clearly speeding, the headlights swerving slightly and approaching way too fast. The driver in front of him seemed to notice it too, because they slowed down a bit and hugged the shoulder. The asshole had their brights on, and even as they drew closer they never turned them down.</p><p>It happened so fast it took Bucky’s breath away. One second the vehicle was headed straight down the opposite lane, and then, just as they drew abreast of the car in front of him, they swerved—straight into the oncoming vehicle.</p><p>It was an old pickup truck, and it struck the sedan in front of him just shy of head-on, clipping it on the driver’s side and sending it into a spin. Bucky cursed. He jammed on the breaks, swerving into the opposite lane around the wreck. He pulled onto the shoulder and flipped on his hazards, vaulting out of his truck.</p><p>Bucky didn’t think, he just acted. Adrenaline surging, he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed 9-1-1, calling in the accident as he ran towards the wreck.</p><p>The sedan was still on the road, spun completely 180 and resting against a telephone pole. The pickup truck was upside down in the ditch, and Bucky didn’t have to go any closer to see that the driver was dead—he was laying about thirty feet from the shattered windshield, his neck at an unnatural angle. Even from there, Bucky’s enhanced sense of smell could pick up the sickly sweet tang of alcohol, and his jaw clenched.</p><p>A soft whimpering sound from the back seat of the sedan froze the blood in his veins, and he broke into a dead run.</p><p>
  <em>Jesus H. Christ, there’s a kid.</em>
</p><p>He reached the sedan just as another car pulled up and a woman got out. Bucky couldn’t see much through the driver’s side window of the wrecked vehicle. The door was caved in and the window was shattered like a spiderweb. Bucky’s stomach clenched—he could see blood on the window, and the driver wasn’t moving. He saw movement in the back seat though, and he nearly ripped the door off its hinges opening it.</p><p>Two small frightened eyes stared up at him, wide and fearful. A little girl, her long beautiful hair curling into wisps, sat in her car seat with tears running down her face. She was in her pajamas. Bucky stared at her for a split-second before she reached out to him, spurring him into action.</p><p>He climbed in the back seat with her, smiling reassuringly so he wouldn’t scare her. She didn’t appear to be hurt at all, and Bucky sent up a silent prayer of thanks for modern car seats.</p><p>“Shh…it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said as he unbuckled her from the car seat. “My name’s Bucky, what’s your name?”</p><p>“Mama,” was all she said, and Bucky’s heart sank.</p><p>“I’m going to get you out of here now, and then I’m going to help your mom, okay?”</p><p>He kept his voice light and soft, and she clutched at him as he pulled her from the car seat. She buried her face in his shirt, and he cradled the back of her head as he exited the vehicle. The woman pulled up next to the car, eyes wide and out of breath.</p><p>“What happened?” she panted. She was older, around sixty, and at the sight of the wreck she turned a little green.</p><p>“Drunk driver—hit ‘em head on,” Bucky said as he passed her the little girl. “Take her over there where it’s safe and see if you can calm her down, the ambulance is on its way. I’m gonna help the driver. I think it’s her mom…don’t let her see.”</p><p>The woman nodded and stumbled up the embankment with the child, who began to whimper as soon as he left. Bucky jogged around the side of the car to the undamaged passenger door, and wrenched it open.</p><p>It was bad.</p><p>The driver was a young woman wearing hospital scrubs, about his physical age. She was unconscious, but he could see she was still breathing at least. The front of the sedan had accordioned back, trapping her legs under the dash, and there was blood on the window from a nasty gash on her temple. Bucky crawled into the passenger seat next to her.</p><p>“Hey…hey, can you hear me?” he called gently, not really expecting an answer.</p><p>He stabilized her with a hand on her shoulder, and felt under her jaw for a pulse. It was fast and uneven, and there was a liquid gurgle when she breathed that he didn’t like. He reached down at her side to unbuckle her seatbelt, but before he could do so she lurched awake, gasping. She clutched at his wrist, her eyes wide. Bucky held her shoulders steady, trying to keep her from moving too much.</p><p>“Woah, woah—it’s okay! It’s okay, you’re all right.”</p><p>It was a lie, but he had to keep her calm. The woman stared at him, and Bucky saw that her eyes were the same exact shade as the little girl’s. They were absolutely beautiful, but they were glassy and dull with pain. She tried to speak but coughed instead, a low, wet sound.</p><p>“Don’t try to talk right now, you—”</p><p>“What happened…Rose…” she rasped. “Rosie, where is she? Is she okay?”</p><p>She was panicking and trying to get up, the fear and adrenaline overriding the shock of her injuries. Bucky gently held her in place.</p><p>“She’s okay. You were in a car accident, but Rose is all right, she’s over there with a lady that stopped to help.”</p><p>“She’s okay?”</p><p>Bucky smiled, although it was almost impossible to. “She’s just fine. You’re hurt though, and I need you to stay still for me right now, okay?”</p><p>The girl nodded and blinked heavily. She coughed again, and Bucky tried not to notice the blood that coated her lips. She was bleeding internally, probably from a punctured lung. He knew he shouldn’t move her, not with the risk of a spinal injury, but he could still make it as easy as possible for the emergency crew to get to her. Time was essential.</p><p>He leaned down and inspected the damage under the dash, and he blanched when he saw a large pool of blood. The dash had cut into her left leg above the knee, and she was bleeding heavily. He needed to get her free, or else she was going to bleed to death. Bucky looked up at her and saw her eyes were already starting to drift closed again. He reached up and cupped her jaw.</p><p>“Hey—stay with me, sweetheart, I need you to keep those pretty eyes open. I’m gonna get your legs free now. It’s probably gonna hurt a little, but I need you to keep talking to me. Tell me about Rose.”</p><p>The woman nodded and swallowed thickly. “She…she’s three…she’s…we were on our way back from the sitter’s…”</p><p>As she talked, Bucky stripped off his jacket and pulled a blanket from the back seat, tearing it into strips. He propped one hand against the floorboard and braced his vibranium arm against the underside of the dash.</p><p>“I’m gonna get your legs free now, just try not to move, okay?”</p><p>Bucky pushed upward on the dash, grunting with effort. The girl bit back a scream and gripped his shoulder tightly. The dash lifted with a loud groan of tortured metal, and she pulled her legs free. Bucky immediately pressed his jacket to her leg, keeping pressure on the wound as her eyes fluttered shut.</p><p>“Hey! Eyes on me.” His voice was gentle but commanding, and she opened her eyes again. “That’s right, just keep looking right at me sweetheart, you’re going to be okay.”</p><p>Bucky grabbed the strips of blanket and tied them above the gash on her thigh, twisting them into a makeshift tourniquet. She whimpered. There was so much blood. Frantically, he tried to keep her talking.</p><p>“What’s your name?” he asked.</p><p>She told him, squirming at the pressure from his hands.</p><p>“That’s pretty,” he said, smiling weakly as he wrapped his jacket around her leg. The smile faltered when he felt her leg shift beneath his hands—it was definitely broken.</p><p>She hissed and squeezed her eyes shut. “What’s your name?”</p><p>“Bucky. My name’s Bucky.”</p><p>The girl let out a watery cough that could have been a laugh. “Wh…what kind of name’s Bucky?”</p><p>He smiled again, encouraging her to keep talking. “Short for Buchanan. My full name’s James Buchanan Barnes, but everyone just calls me Bucky.”</p><p>She smiled back, and Bucky thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.</p><p>“Thank you, Bucky…f-for stopping.” She blinked slowly, and her eyes roamed a bit before they found him again. “Thank you for trying.”</p><p>Bucky knew what she meant. She was a nurse, and she knew how badly she was hurt.</p><p>Her jaw clenched and she breathed raggedly as a wave of pain washed over her. She was starting to shake, and underneath the cold sweat on her forehead her skin was turning an ashy grey. He felt her pulse again. Rapid and weak—she was going into shock.</p><p>Bucky gently tilted her away from the driver’s side door. He wasn’t that concerned about shifting her anymore; she was moving her arms and legs freely, and at this point, he was more worried about shock and blood loss than anything else. Lifting her over the armrest would jostle her too much, and he didn’t want to put pressure on her broken ribs or leg.</p><p>He called her name, loudly. Her eyes fluttered open again as he gently wiped the blood from her forehead. They searched for a moment before latching onto his. “Sweetheart, I’m going to leave you here for a second. I have to get your door open so I can get you out of here, okay?”</p><p>Her eyes widened and she grasped his wrist. “P-Please, don’t leave me!”</p><p>Bucky huffed and cupped her face. “I promise, I’ll be right back. I’m just going to try to get your door open. It’s going to be okay.”</p><p>She blinked at him and nodded, her jaw clenching. She was putting her complete faith and trust into him, a total stranger, to save her life. Bucky couldn’t let her down.</p><p>She had to be okay.</p><p>Bucky squeezed her hand one last time before he jogged around the side of the vehicle. In the distance, his enhanced hearing picked up the sound of sirens.</p><p>Three swipes from his Vibranium arm and the door fell, ripped from its hinges. Her seatbelt was jammed, so Bucky pulled his knife and cut the straps. She groaned as he gathered her in his arms as gently as he could, and he pulled her from the vehicle.</p><p>“Shh…It’s all right, I’ve got you.”</p><p>Bucky cradled her in his arms, sitting her up slightly to try to help her breathe better.</p><p>“Rose…”</p><p>Bucky’s jaw clenched. “Rose is fine, she’s right over—”</p><p>“Phone…call Desi, make sure she takes Rose…there’s no one else.”</p><p>“But—”</p><p>“Please!” Her eyes were frantic with worry, and she gripped his hand. “Please—make sure she’s safe.”</p><p>Bucky felt his eyes start to burn. He was a complete stranger to her, but she was entrusting the safety of her daughter to him. The last-ditch effort of a dying woman.</p><p>“You’re going to be fine, you’re—"</p><p>She coughed, and fresh blood coated her lips as her eyes drifted shut again. Bucky laid her on the ground and rolled her onto her side in the recovery position. He bent down low so she could see him, one hand brushing the hair from her eyes and the other fingering the pulse at her wrist.</p><p>It was slowing.</p><p>“C’mon sweetheart, stay with me here.” The sirens were growing louder. “The ambulance is coming, they’re almost—you just gotta hold on a little bit longer. Stay with me.”</p><p>Bucky was starting to panic. She was drowning in her own blood. He’d exhausted his first aid knowledge, and he didn’t know what else to do. Field triage wasn’t exactly his specialty. He suddenly wished Sam were there. He’d know what to--</p><p>“Mama!”</p><p>Bucky’s head shot up, and he saw the woman holding the little girl had edged closer and was staring down at them, her face white with shock.</p><p>
  <em>Jesus Christ, lady—keep that kid away! She doesn’t need to see this.</em>
</p><p>The woman must have seen the look on his face, because she quickly turned the child’s head from the scene. The trees around them were starting to pick up the flashing lights of the ambulance. They were close, but maybe not close enough.</p><p>Her eyes were closed now, and Bucky could barely feel her pulse.</p><p>“No, no, no…please! Stay with me honey, you can’t—c’mon!”</p><p>The crunch of gravel announced the arrival of the first responders. Bucky was pushed to the side, and from there everything was a blur. Everyone was shouting. Police questioned him but he only half-listened, mumbling answers and peering through the bodies to catch a glimpse of her. Then doors were slammed, and the ambulance drove off, it’s siren wailing once again.</p><p>The police seemed to be done with him, so he just stood there.</p><p>Bucky didn’t know what to do with his hands. They were covered in blood, and he was shaking. Adrenaline, shock, fear…he didn’t even know if she was going to make it.</p><p>She had to.</p><p>He’d never fought so hard to save someone. Not even Steve, that time he pulled him from the river—he’d just walked away afterwards. The Winter Soldier was an instrument of death. Before that he was just a scared kid, and he wasn’t sure what he was now. From the moment the accident happened he’d been on autopilot, but now that it was over, Bucky was terrified.</p><p>Dimly, he was aware of a tiny body being thrust in his arms. The older woman was speaking to him again, apologizing.</p><p>“Sorry, but I’m already running late, I can’t do this—here, you take her.”</p><p>Bucky glared, but his gaze softened as the little girl—Rose—wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. She was so scared.</p><p>The cops seemed to have forgotten about him, so he sat down on a nearby rock and tried to calm her. He leaned back against a tree and talked soothingly to her. He smiled at Rose and made funny faces at her, and even got a few watery giggles from her. After a couple rounds of “You are my Sunshine,” she began to quiet.</p><p>Bucky rubbed her back and rocked her, still humming softly. Inside he could still feel the gnawing worry over the fate of her mom, but seeing little Rose’s face lit up despite the horror calmed him more than he thought possible. Soon, she was asleep with her head on his chest. Bucky laid his cheek against the top of her head and tightened his grip, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat.</p><p>“Mr. Barnes?”</p><p>The two shiny boots of a state trooper had stopped in front of him. Bucky looked up, and the man reached for Rose.</p><p>“We’ll take her from here, sir. Thank you for everything you did—stopping to help. Not everyone would’ve done that.”</p><p>Bucky nodded dazedly. He started to ask about Rose’s mom, but stopped himself. They wouldn’t know any more than he did.</p><p>“What’s going to happen to her?” is what he asked instead, nodding to Rose as he handed her over to the trooper.</p><p>“We’ll take her to the hospital, see if her mom made it. Apparently she works there, so somebody should know who her emergency contact is.”</p><p>Bucky nodded again. Right. Made sense.</p><p>Rose was still asleep when the Trooper drove off. The wrecker came and went, and soon there was nothing for him to do but get back into his truck.</p><p>Bucky turned off his hazards. The silence was deafening.</p><p>For a while, he just sat there and contemplated the blood on his hands. There weren’t many times where they’d been bloodied from actually helping someone, and he felt this stain seeping deeper than the rest. He felt changed.</p><p>He supposed he should call Sam and tell him what happened. Better yet, he supposed he should just go home.</p><p>He didn’t want to, though.</p><p>Bucky couldn’t stop thinking about Rose or her mother. It felt half-assed, to fight so hard to save them both and then abandon them to strangers, even if he was one himself. He had to make sure they would both be okay. He had to know.</p><p>His mind was made up. A quick call to Sam, and Bucky turned his truck around, headed for the hospital.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky hated hospitals. Even the nice ones they had now still brought back painful memories of Steve, gasping his way through another case pneumonia, or worse yet—the horrors of the Hydra medical ward.</p><p>He looked around, confused. There were so many people, rushing around him, it wasn’t at all like the quiet efficiency of the medical center at the Compound. It was a little overwhelming.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here. I’m nothing to her—she probably has her own family here, and I just…I should just go.</em>
</p><p>His feet didn’t move though. He couldn’t leave—he wouldn’t. Not until he knew she and Rosie were safe.  Finally, he made his way to the front desk, where he was met with a very tired and very harassed-looking nurse.</p><p>“Hi, um, I’m looking for a young woman that was brought in a little while ago…she was in a car accident…”</p><p>“Name?” She didn’t even look up.</p><p>“B-Bucky…um James Bar—”</p><p>“<em>Her</em> name, not yours.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>He gave it to her, and she started typing. After what seemed like half a century, she finally looked up.</p><p>“Are you family?”</p><p>“N-No, I just—”</p><p>“Then all I can tell you is that she was brought in to the ER, and that she’s still in surgery.”</p><p>“Is she gonna be okay? What about her daughter, Rose?”</p><p>The nurse shook her head, already looking past him to the next person in line. “I’m sorry, sir, but if you’re not family I can’t help you.”</p><p>Bucky thanked her. He stepped to the side and scrubbed his face in frustration, and he wandered over to the waiting area. He was just standing there, wondering what else he could do, when he heard a tiny voice behind him.</p><p>“Bucky!”</p><p>His head shot up, and he turned around.</p><p>It was little Rose. She was reaching for him, a smile on her face. The woman holding her was staring at him in shock.  </p><p>“Are…are you him?” she asked.</p><p>Bucky blinked at her.</p><p>“Are you the man that saved Y/N?”</p><p>“I…is she okay? D-Did…” His heart was pounding so hard he couldn’t even get the words out.</p><p>The woman nodded, and Bucky closed his eyes in relief. “She’s still in surgery, but they were able to stabilize her in the ambulance on the way here. They said if they would’ve had to get her out of the car she would’ve died. You saved her life.”</p><p>Without another word, the woman pulled him into a hug. Bucky flinched at the sudden touch from a stranger, but then he relaxed. It was nice. It was awkward and ugly and beautiful, this embrace between two strangers over death avoided. Rose squirmed and the woman chuckled, embarrassed.</p><p>“Sorry, I’m just—it’s been a long night. Y/N is my best friend,” she said, wiping her eyes and holding out a hand to him. “I’m Desirae.”</p><p>Bucky took her hand. “You’re Desi? Y/N mentioned you—the phone—<em>shit</em>! I forgot. She wanted to make sure you got Rose, she said there wasn’t anyone else?”</p><p>Desi nodded. It was then that Bucky noticed she was wearing scrubs too. She must work with Y/N. Rose leaned out of Desi’s arms, reaching for Bucky. He shifted uncomfortably—he was a total stranger, after all—but Desi let the little girl climb into his arms.</p><p>Bucky instantly felt calmer as Rose wrapped her little arms around his neck. He rubbed her back and she nuzzled into him, and his heart melted. Desi smiled.</p><p>“She doesn’t usually take to new people…you must’ve made an impression.”</p><p>“Where’s Rose’s father? Shouldn’t he be here if—”</p><p>“Rose isn’t Y/N’s daughter,” Desi said. “She’s her niece.”</p><p>She guided them to a quiet corner of the waiting room, and they sat. “Her sister and her husband were killed in a car accident. Big snowstorm—they slid off the road. Just last year.”</p><p>Bucky’s eyes widened in shock.</p><p>“I’m not sure how much Rose remembers. She was in the car, but she came though it okay. Her parents weren’t that lucky. Y/N ended up legally adopting her, and she’s been juggling her job and taking care of Rose ever since. Rose started calling her mama just a few months ago. Breaks my heart.”</p><p>Desi reached up and smoothed back Rose’s hair. The little girl was giggling and trying to pull Bucky’s baseball cap off his head. Bucky finally gave in and took it off, setting it down on Rose’s head and smiling as she peaked out from under it.</p><p>“She doesn’t talk much,” Desi said. She was watching them both closely. “The doctor’s aren’t sure if it’s the result of trauma from the accident, or if she’s speech delayed. Rosie hasn’t said more that a handful of words since the accident, usually Mama. For her to say your name…”</p><p>She looked at him as if she were trying to see something, but then she shook her head.</p><p>Desi’s cheeks flushed. “When I think about that drunk—” she glanced down and held her hands to Rose’s ears “—that drunk <em>fuck</em> and what could’ve happened…”</p><p>She blew out a breath and wiped the tears that were starting to form. Bucky reached down and took her hand. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. They were both reeling with the possibilities of what could’ve happened.</p><p>“I’m sorry, it’s just that they’ve been through so much, you know?” Desi said.</p><p>She leaned back, bouncing her leg, and Bucky was glad to see he wasn’t the only one anxious to hear from the doctor.</p><p>“Y/N’s an absolute sweetheart, she’s always thinking of everyone else before herself. She didn’t deserve this.”</p><p>“Bad things always seem to happen to good people,” Bucky said.</p><p>It sounded lame, but it was true. Just look at him—out of all the good people he’d known in his life, he was the only one that made it. Life was rarely fair.</p><p>Desi smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “Well, I’m glad you were there. Thank you.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a little bit, the sounds and activity of the Emergency Room a low hum in the background. Desi got up after a while and brought them both back some coffees.</p><p>“I just realized, I never asked your name. The crew didn’t know it when they brought her in,” she said, handing him a cup.</p><p>“Bucky. It’s…my name’s Bucky.”</p><p>He bit the inside of his cheek, hoping she’d leave it at that. If he gave her his full name she’d know who he was, and he was a little afraid of what her reaction might be. Bucky wasn’t trying to worm his way into their lives. He just wanted to make sure Rose and Y/N were okay, and then he’d be gone. It was best he remained a stranger to them.</p><p>And, to be honest, he didn’t want to leave just yet. Despite the anxiety the waiting room brought, Bucky was enjoying just sitting there and holding Rose. Her little body was warm against his, and her hand would twitch against his shirt every once in a while as she dreamed. He hoped they were good dreams.</p><p>But Desi didn’t push the issue. “It’s very nice to meet you, Bucky.”</p><p>They both smiled. It was a little strained under the circumstances, but it was genuine. Bucky and Desi chatted while Rose slept, falling into a comfortable rhythm. She seemed to sense his quietness, and didn’t press about his background too much.</p><p>Instead, she talked about Y/N. A few hours passed, and Bucky felt as if he’d known Y/N his whole life. A few other employees from the hospital stopped by, asking after her and giving their best wishes. As the night wore on, Bucky got the sense that Y/N was a very special person indeed. He hoped that he would get to meet her properly soon, but the darker part of him laughed at his naivete.</p><p>So instead, Bucky closed his eyes and prayed that she would live.</p><p>It seemed as if Bucky and Desi had been sitting in the waiting room for half a lifetime. Several cups of coffee had been downed by both, and Desi had returned with snacks raided from the nurse’s station. Bucky was starting to feel the familiar weight of dread in his stomach again, when their conversation was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.</p><p>“Desi? You here for Y/N?”</p><p>Desi and Bucky both jumped as if they’d been shocked, and Bucky held Rose a little tighter as he sat up straight. His heart was pounding again.</p><p>“Is she okay?” Desi asked.</p><p>The doctor nodded and smiled, although a bit tiredly. “She’s going to be fine. The surgery went well, if a little long. She’s up in recovery now, you can go up and see her.”</p><p>“How…how bad is it?” Bucky asked.</p><p>The doctor looked at him curiously, but he answered. “She suffered a concussion, lacerations to her face and arm. There’ll be some scarring. Her left leg fractured in two places, and she had a bone-deep laceration that required several stitches. The worst of it was the internal bleeding from a punctured lung. She lost a lot of blood, but we were able to stabilize her.”</p><p>Desi gripped Bucky’s hand as the doctor continued.</p><p>“Y/N has a long recovery ahead of her, and she’s going to need all the help she can get. She’s sedated right now, and she’s going to be on some strong pain meds for a while. We’ll send a physical therapist by tomorrow to discuss her recovery with you, and the attending will be able to answer any questions you might have.”</p><p>“Can we see her now?” Desi asked.</p><p>The doctor nodded and started to lead the way, but then he halted. He seemed to know Desi, but he was curious about Bucky’s presence.</p><p>“I’m sorry, are you family? I can only let up—”</p><p>“He’s family,” Desi said, gripping Bucky’s hand tighter.</p><p>Bucky was speechless. He was glad the doctor bought it, because Bucky surely didn’t have the vocal capacity to back it up. He looked questioningly at Desi as he shifted Rose in his arms, but she merely nodded.</p><p>Before Bucky knew it, they were outside Y/N’s room. Desi went first, and Bucky rocked Rose and cooed at her as she stirred, more so to soothe himself than her. He had just gotten her back to sleep when Desi emerged.</p><p>Her eyes were red, and she sniffed as she took Rose from him. “Go ahead, I’ll take her for a bit. I don’t want Rosie to wake up and see her that way.”</p><p>Bucky kissed the little girl on the top of her head as he handed her off, and stepped into the room.</p><p>If it were possible, she looked even worse than when he’d last seen her. The harsh hospital lighting left nothing out, the bruising on her cheekbone and across her temple a brilliant black and blue. She was hooked up to more monitors and machines than Bucky had ever seen, and to be honest, she looked dead. The only thing that reassured him was the barely perceptible rise and fall of her chest and the soft blip of her heart monitor.</p><p>Bucky swallowed back bile, and he felt his eyes start to burn.</p><p>
  <em>You didn’t deserve this, not someone like you.</em>
</p><p>Bucky sank into the chair next to the bed and rested a trembling hand on hers. It was cold. He coughed, blinking back the tears that had started to form.</p><p>He wasn’t sure why he was so affected by this. He didn’t even know the girl. Bucky was no stranger to death or grievous injuries, but this—something about this seemed so much more unjust, so much more unfair. A gentle, caring soul like her didn’t deserve this kind of pain, this kind of suffering. And maybe it was made even worse by the fact that he had fought so hard to save her.</p><p>
  <em>I’ll protect you, Y/N. You and Rosie both. You give so much to others, you deserve someone to watch over you. I won’t let you hurt anymore.</em>
</p><p>Bucky wasn’t sure what exactly was happening. All he knew was that he felt an incredible pull, a yearning, deep in his soul to keep these two safe. The Winter Soldier had been a harbinger of death and destruction, but Bucky Barnes would be a protector.</p><p>He would keep them safe.</p><p>Bucky hadn’t realized how much time had passed. Desi toed open the door, a sympathetic look on her face. Bucky stood.</p><p>“I know…it’s a lot to take in,” she said.</p><p>Bucky stuffed his hands in his pockets as they stepped out into the hallway.</p><p>“It’s…it’s like I can see it happening, every time I close my eyes, but I can’t stop it. It’s so…it’s messed up.” Bucky frowned, looking confused. “I don’t know why this is affecting me so much…I don’t even know her, I’m <em>nobody</em>…”</p><p>Desi placed a hand on his arm. “You’re not nobody, Bucky. You saved two lives tonight, and that makes you somebody in my book.”</p><p>Bucky was glad she didn’t say hero. Bucky Barnes was many things, but a hero wasn’t one of them.</p><p>“C-Can I stay?” he asked.</p><p>Desi smiled. “I think Rosie would pitch a fit if you didn’t.”</p><p>***</p><p>You floated in and out of a narcotic-induced haze. The world had been dimmed. Muffled. Fuzzy. You knew you were in the hospital, the sounds and smells you knew so well confirming that fact. Moving was challenging, mostly because your limbs felt like they weighed twice what they should.</p><p>So you drifted, holding on to the cocoon of comfort the pain meds brought. Occasionally you would feel a hand on yours, sometimes small and dainty, sometimes large and warm. The large hand confused you. It felt like a man’s hand, both comforting and familiar.</p><p>A blue eyed angel. Had he even been real?</p><p>You thought so. The pain—that had been real, so why not him. He’d gotten you out. He’d saved you and Rosie.</p><p>Your guardian angel.</p><p>You saw his eyes now, swimming above you. Impossibly blue and etched with worry. You smiled, feeling a comforting warmth spread thought you, just by his mere presence.</p><p>“…Angel…” you murmured.</p><p>The hand tightened on yours. “What did she say?”</p><p>He was speaking to someone else in the room. You recognized his voice—it <em>was</em> him.</p><p>What was his name?</p><p>
  <em>“It’s short for Buchanan. My full name’s James Buchanan Barnes, but everyone just calls me Bucky.”</em>
</p><p>You smiled.</p><p>“Bucky.”</p><p>***</p><p>Everything hurt.</p><p>Your skin hurt.</p><p>Even your teeth hurt, and if you thought about it hard enough, it felt like your brain was going to squish out your ears.</p><p>But at least the world wasn’t spinning in a milky haze anymore. You took as deep a breath as you could manage and waited for the pain to die down to a manageable level before you looked around the room.</p><p>Desi was asleep in the chair next to you, the bright morning light filtered across her body. She looked exhausted. You smiled faintly at your friend before your eyes moved on.</p><p>There was a small, low couch in the corner, and the man laying on it made it look even smaller. He was huge, his long legs curled up underneath him and his arms folded across his chest. The way his broad shoulders were wedged up against the back of sofa looked uncomfortable, but at the same time he looked like a large and lazy cat, curled up for a nap.</p><p><em>Bucky</em>, you remembered.</p><p>There were dark circles under his eyes as well, and he was still wearing his baseball cap and his jacket. You wondered if he was cold.</p><p>Another wave of pain washed over you, and you groaned softly.</p><p>You hadn’t meant for it to come out as loud as it did.</p><p>Bucky reacted immediately, snapping awake with a gasp. He sat up and his eyes wert wide.</p><p>“You’re awake!” His expression was one of utmost concern, but he smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck.</p><p>“Um, h-hi. You’re uh, probably wondering who—”</p><p>“Bucky. You’re Bucky…you saved me.” Your voice was weak, but a smile flitted across your lips as you saw his eyebrows raise in surprise.</p><p>“You remember me?”</p><p>“How could I forget you? You saved my life.”</p><p>He shifted uncomfortably, seemingly ill at ease with praise.</p><p>“H-How are you feeling?” Bucky asked, and he winced. “Sorry, that’s a dumb thing to ask, I’m sure you feel like shit.”</p><p>You smiled up at him, suppressing a laugh.</p><p>“It’s okay. I feel like shit, but I’m alive, which is enough for me.”</p><p>“I…I should get the doctor, or a nurse or something.” Bucky stood, looking around him dazedly.</p><p>He looked lost, a far cry from the confident, reassuring man that had pulled you from the wreck. Bucky bent down, lightly shaking Desi’s shoulder.</p><p>“Desi…Y/N’s awake. I’m gonna go get the doctor.”</p><p>Desi’s eyes flashed open, and all hell broke loose.</p><p>You found yourself in the middle of an awkward hug, your best friend tying to be gentle but nearly crushing you at the same time. She planted a wet and sloppy kiss on your forehead, just as you saw Bucky dip out of the door with a small smile on his face.</p><p>“Y/N,” she said, the tears starting to well up. “Girl, I thought I lost you.”</p><p>You held each other for a moment longer, before she broke away with a sniff.</p><p>“Before you ask, Rose is fine. Came away without a scratch. Noel took her down to that big playroom in pediatrics. The little hellion was tearin’ the place up, last I looked.”</p><p>You laughed softly, first in relief that Rose was okay, and then imagining her racing down the slide and bouncing on the trampoline. It was a great playroom.</p><p>“How are you, Y/N? Really. Don’t give me any of that stoic bullshit.”</p><p>“Honestly, I feel like crap. Everything hurts, and it’s hard to breathe.”</p><p>Desi nodded. “Yeah, that asshole really did a number on you. Your left leg’s broke in two places, and you’ve got about three dozen stitches in you. Your ribs are broken too, and one punctured your lung. The doc should be by soon to give you some of the good shit, Bucky went to go get him.”</p><p>You raised an eyebrow at the sound of his name. “What’s the story with him?”</p><p>“Oh, you mean tall, dark and handsome?” She bit her lip and sighed. “He showed up a little bit after you went into surgery, asking if you and Rose were okay. The proverbial lost puppy. He has been beside himself with worry for you, refused to leave your side for more than a few minutes.”</p><p>You frowned, but Desi shook her head.</p><p>“No, it’s nothing like that. He’s one of the good ones, I can tell. He…he seems to have taken a responsibility for you and Rose, he just wants to make sure you’re safe.”</p><p>Desi looked at you sadly. “He seems so…lost. He was very upset by what happened, and he’s not really sure where his place is in all this, but he’s genuine. To be honest, he reminds me of some of the PTSD cases I used to treat down at the VA…I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a military background.”</p><p>She smiled fondly. “And Rose? She absolutely adores him. Doesn’t want a thing to do with me. I don’t mind, though, seeing her snuggle into his arms…and the look on his face when she does…” she shook her head. “I think Bucky’s been lost for a long time.”</p><p>Well, that was enough for you. You already thought highly of Bucky, and if he got Desi’s—and Rose’s—seal of approval, then he must be one of the good guys.</p><p>Desi smiled slyly at you. “And…by the way, have you seen him? Girl—he is gorgeous! And that body…”</p><p>You rolled your eyes. “Des you can’t be serious.”</p><p>“I am. It is clear he only has eyes for you, and I’m going to do my damndest—”</p><p>Desi’s pledge was cut off by Bucky’s return with the doctor.</p><p>After a long and tedious discussion, followed by the blessed administration of more pain meds, the doctor departed, leaving the three of you alone once more. Desi made sure Bucky took the chair behind your bed as she fussed around the room.</p><p>You and Bucky talked lightly, mostly about the accident and Rose. He was very easy to talk to, and you found yourself falling harder and harder for those impossibly blue eyes, tempered with a hint of grey.</p><p>Desi’s lips curled into a smile, watching the two of you together. She squeezed your hand, bending down to lightly kiss your forehead.</p><p>“I’m gonna go get Rose, sweetie, now that you’re up. Give you two a chance to get <em>acquainted</em>.”</p><p>Bucky blushed, and so did you. There was Desi, playing the matchmaker again.</p><p>Still, you were excited to see Rose again, and you noticed Bucky had perked up at her name as well. He really did care for you both.</p><p>You looked at him sadly as he chatted with Desi. Recently, your life had been consumed with caring for others, walking that tightrope as you tried to balance raising Rose on your own and work. You hadn’t had time for friends or a love life. Yet here was a man who wanted nothing more than to ensure you and Rose were safe.</p><p>You thought about Desi’s words, and you wondered just what had happened to Bucky to make him so lonely. To make him stop in the middle of the night when most people would have passed by. To make him stay, even now.</p><p>Bucky was staring at you, and you realized you were alone.</p><p>“Bucky, I want to thank you…for stopping. For saving my life, and for watching over Rose. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Thank you.”</p><p>He smiled, and your heart fluttered.</p><p>“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N. It was the right thing to do. I’m glad I stopped. I’m glad you’re okay, and…I’m glad I met you. ”</p><p>He scooted a little closer, taking your hand in both of his. They were large and warm, but you noticed he wore a glove on his left hand. You recalled Desi’s comment about PTSD, and you wondered if he had been wounded.</p><p>Bucky’s thumbs smoothed over your knuckles and he looked at your hand, deep in thought.</p><p>“You know, I wasn’t even sure if you were real,” you began. “I…you brought me such comfort, such reassurance, I thought you were an angel.”</p><p>You said it lightly, but unfortunately, your words had the opposite effect on Bucky. He stiffened, his jaw clenching. Blinking rapidly, he looked at you, and you saw he was close to tears.</p><p>“I’m no angel, Y/N.”</p><p>Bucky let out a shuddering breath. Slowly, he pulled off the glove on his left hand and held it up with a grimace. You stared at the metal appendage in surprise. You’d seen it before, on the news.</p><p>Bucky Barnes. The Winter Soldier. A brainwashed Hydra assassin, a man who had taken countless lives. Bucky saw the recognition in your eyes, and his shoulders fell. His eyes were distant, his face blank as he nodded.</p><p>“I should go. You and Rose are safe now, I don’t belong here anymore.”</p><p>He stood to leave, but you caught his hand—the metal one. Bucky looked at you in shock as you took it in both your hands, wrapping your fingers around the metal and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. His breath hitched.</p><p>“Please…don’t go. I know I’m nobody—”</p><p>“You’re not <em>nobody</em>, Y/N, you’re—”</p><p>“I don’t care who you were,” you blurted. “We’ve all got a past, some more so than others, but the past is behind us. I don’t judge you on yours.”</p><p>You blinked up at him, feeling your strength start to fade. Bucky looked at you worriedly and sank back down into the chair by your bed.</p><p>“Please stay. I know I have no cause to hold you here, but…but I’d like you to stay, if that’s what you want, Bucky. It doesn’t have to amount to anything…it can just be a friendship, but I don’t want you to think that you don’t belong here with us.”</p><p>Bucky stared at you, his eyes swimming with tears.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>***</p><p>You ended up having to stay in the hospital for another week. Since you were going to be on crutches for a while, the doctors wanted to make absolutely sure your ribs wouldn’t re-break under the stress. As interminably long as it was, though, you were kept busy with a steady stream of visitors.</p><p>Desi had taken a leave of absence so she could help you, and she took Rose home the day after you woke up. You were so grateful to her—between her and Bucky, Rose was thriving, giggling and playing as if nothing had happened.</p><p>The first time you heard her say Bucky’s name you were blown away. Desi was practically beaming with an <em>I told you so</em> look, but to hear it yourself…</p><p>You loved watching Bucky with Rose. It was as if all the fear and uncertainty had been stripped away, and you finally got a glimpse of the man beneath. The kind and gentle soul.</p><p>Sometimes he would take Rose down to the play room, and he would even help her with the lunches Desi brought. You loved watching them play together—they almost seemed to have made up a language of their own. You marveled at the way he seemed to fit so seamlessly into your lives…like the missing piece of a puzzle.</p><p>Bucky was your one constant, though it all. He excused himself occasionally to make a few phone calls (<em>Avenger</em> business, you reminded yourself dazedly), but for the most part, he was there by your side.</p><p>Finally, your day of discharge came. Bucky was subdued the whole morning. You knew he was glad you were finally able to leave the hospital, but you sensed his sadness, not knowing where he fit into your lives from here on out.</p><p>He was anxiously re-packing your hospital bag when you reached out and took his hand, stilling him.</p><p>“So, now that I get to go home, I figured the least I can do for you is cook you dinner…as a thank you.”</p><p>Bucky stared at you. “Y/N, you’re on crutches. You’re still healing…you’re not cooking anyone anything, least of all me—”</p><p>“It’s a small kitchen,” you said, placing a hand on his chest. “I’ll get around.”</p><p>Stormy blue eyes blinked at you, the ever-present look of surprise and uncertainty on his face. Yet beneath your hand, you could feel his heart racing.</p><p>“Please. I know Rosie’s dying to show you her room.”</p><p>That won him over. Whatever apprehension Bucky had around you disappeared whenever Rose was around. She had him wrapped around her little finger.</p><p>Bucky smiled.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>***</p><p>Dinner was a huge success. You cooked something simple—pot roast and mashed potatoes, although Bucky ended up helping you in the kitchen. It was nice, the two of you cooking together as Rose played in the living room. The little glances from Bucky and the lingering touches did not go unnoticed, either.</p><p>Even with the help, you still tired quickly. Bucky made sure you were settled comfortably on the couch, drawing a blanked over you and brushing his fingers lightly against your cheek in a surprisingly intimate gesture.</p><p>Then Rose had him by the hand, dragging him into her room as he chuckled.</p><p>You didn’t mean to fall asleep, but you woke up thirty minutes later feeling refreshed. Lurching awkwardly up from the couch, you followed the sounds of giggles to Rose’s room. You peeked in, and your heart melted.</p><p>Bucky and Rose had constructed an elaborate castle out of duplos. Rose was dancing around the castle, twirling in her tutu and princess crown while she roared excitedly. She had apparently decided Bucky needed some accessories as well, because there was a feather boa wrapped around his neck, and one of her floppy hats was perched on his head at a jaunty angle.</p><p>But what really got your attention was the look on Bucky’s face. A huge smile lit up his face, and he looked truly happy, just watching her play. You leaned your crutches in the hall and hopped into the room. Bucky scrambled up, helping you slide into a sitting position on the floor.</p><p>“Jesus, Y/N, I’m right here. You can ask for help, you know.”</p><p>“Sorry, habit,” you said.</p><p>Bucky was still holding onto your arms, and his face was very close. For a moment, your brain froze as he just stared at you, and his breath hitched as your eyes flicked down to his lips and back up. Then Rosie let out a particularly loud squeal, and that broke the spell.</p><p>You smirked and tugged the hat low over his eyes and Bucky laughed, seeing the look on your face as you took in his wardrobe.</p><p>“I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be,” he said, “we had a tea party and now I think the castle is under siege.”</p><p>The three of you played together until diner, and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d just sat and played with Rose. It seemed like you had been running on empty, barely able to spare a second for either of you. It made you sad.</p><p>Bucky must have noticed, because the next thing you knew he was setting a tiara on your head with an amused smile, and Rose was wrapping a blanket around you like a cape.</p><p>“You look cute,” he said, wrinkling his nose adorably.</p><p>All too soon the dinner buzzer was going off, and the three of you sat down to dinner. You noticed Bucky kept stealing shy glances at you, a look of hopeful uncertainty on his face.</p><p>As the meal progressed, you found that you would seriously have to re-think your menu if Bucky were staying—which you sincerely hoped he would. His super soldier appetite was incredible, and he polished off three helpings as if it were the best thing he’s ever eaten.</p><p>After dinner you all cuddled on the couch. It was slow going with the crutches, but Bucky was there, every step of the way. He eased you onto the sofa, positioning a pillow under your leg for support.</p><p>As soon as he was settled, Rose leapt in his arms with the remote. It was October, and she insisted on watching <em>It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.</em> Bucky was nestled into the corner of your couch, one arm cradling Rose against him protectively. The other was wrapped around you, although that arm was a little lighter…more hesitant.</p><p>Bucky chuckled over the antics of Snoopy and his Sopwith Camel, and you wondered sadly if he’d ever seen the movie before. You intertwined your fingers with his. Bucky’s head leaned against yours, and there it stayed for the duration of the movie.</p><p>Soon, it was over. Rose was asleep on Bucky’s chest, and he shifted to look at the clock.</p><p>“I should be going, it’s late.”</p><p>Your heart fell. He looked so incredibly sad, his eyes skittering around the room as if he were confused. You twisted to look at him, wincing at the pinch in your ribs.</p><p>“Bucky, I’m not going to keep you here. You’ve already done so much for us, and I’m grateful. If you want to leave, you can go.” You squeezed his hand once before letting go. “But you don’t have to. I have a spare bedroom, and if you want it, it’s yours—you can stay if you want. I hope you do.”</p><p>Bucky’s gaze dropped to the ground, his brow furrowing. Blinking rapidly, he reached out and took your hand, metal against skin.</p><p>“I don’t want to go,” he murmured, so quietly you almost couldn’t hear him. “I want to stay…here, with you.”</p><p>You wrapped your arms around him and he melted into your touch, his breath a warm sigh against your skin.</p><p>Bucky Barnes, your guardian angel.</p><p>The man who took the long way home, stopped for a stranger, and found a family instead.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky stayed.</p><p>Not just that first night, but most nights after that. He was now so firmly ingrained in your little family, you couldn’t imagine life without him.</p><p>Bucky had been hesitant at first, not wanting to overstep his bounds. You also hadn’t wanted to push him or take advantage of him, all of which led to quite a few awkward moments.</p><p>Bucky was incredibly attentive, wanting to help you with everything. You got the sense that he craved the feeling of being useful…of being wanted. He had been lost, unable to find his place in this new world he found himself in, and he had been drowning.</p><p>He found a sympathetic ear in you, and after much encouragement he had opened up completely. What he had done as the Winter Soldier, what had been done to him, and what he had ultimately lost—his family, his friends, his sense of identity. He carried an incredible weight on his shoulders, and you did your best to help him bear it.</p><p>Seeing your acceptance of everything he was changed him. He was comfortable now, confident. Watching him read Rose a bedtime story and play with her, chasing her around the park when you couldn’t brought a smile to your face. Seeing him light up when you asked if he could stay for dinner…feeling his strong hands under your arm when you were left weak and shaking from the physical therapy…hearing the crunch of gravel in the driveway as his truck pulled up…it was clear that Bucky had firmly found his way into your heart.</p><p>He’d taken you both to the Avengers Compound to see where he worked and meet his friends, an experience that left you awestruck. Bucky was an honest-to-god superhero, but a gentle, bear of a man with a big heart. He was incredibly protective of you and Rose, and after seeing him at the Compound, you felt very safe indeed.</p><p>There wasn’t much that would make it past Bucky Barnes.</p><p>Still, although he still worked there regularly, you knew his heart wasn’t in it. He craved the simple domestic life, reveling in the little things that used to speed right past you without your notice. He was a man who liked to slow down and just enjoy life, and you found yourself following his lead.</p><p>Your cast had come off last week, and physical therapy had been going well. You still walked with a limp and there was pain, but you were alive—something you were thankful for each and every day.</p><p>All of which led you to where you were tonight.</p><p>Desi had come over after her shift that afternoon without warning, announcing she was going to take Rose for the night. A girl’s only sleepover, complete with pizza and a Frozen marathon. You laughed and gratefully agreed, knowing she was still trying to play matchmaker, but you were hesitant. Although you harbored a secret crush on Bucky, you weren’t sure what his feelings were, and you didn’t want to push him.</p><p>Bucky had stopped by the house to pick you up after work, and you noticed he’d already showered and changed. He had a small bouquet of wildflowers in his hand, and a huge smile on his face.</p><p>You watched him as he drove.</p><p>For the first time, Bucky wasn’t wearing his hat or his heavy coat. He still wore the glove to cover his left hand, but he wore a light denim jacket over a tight navy tee, his brunette locks brushed back from his face. His eyes were bright as they scanned the road ahead.</p><p>You loved seeing him that way. Happy. Truly happy. Bucky looked like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, and you smiled, playing with the bouquet in your hand.</p><p>They were beautiful, and they looked hand-picked. You wondered where you were going, realizing he hadn’t told you yet. Something about this outing felt so different.</p><p>Then, it hit you.</p><p>You weren’t just going out to eat—Bucky Barnes was taking you on a <em>date</em>.</p><p>You felt your face heat, and your lips curled into a small little smile as your heart melted into a little puddle on the floorboard. Glancing over at your silence, Bucky did a double take when he saw the look on your face.</p><p>He smiled shyly. “Guess you caught me.”</p><p>“Is this why Desi took Rose for a sleepover?”</p><p>Bucky nodded down at your leg. “You’ve been hobbled up for the past two months, and you’ve been working so hard. It’s about time you got to get out and have a little fun.” A pause. “It’s about time I took my best girl out on a date.”</p><p>The last part was said quietly, and Bucky’s nervousness was back. Slowly, you reached out and took his hand from where it was resting on the center console, almost as if in invitation.</p><p>“Your best girl?”</p><p>“Yeah, um…if you want to be.”</p><p>Bucky blushed a deep scarlet, and he glanced at you uncertainly. You smiled, intertwining your fingers with his.</p><p>“I’d like that Bucky. I’d like that a lot.”</p><p>He let out a shuddering breath, beaming.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>When the kiss happened, it surprised you both.</p><p>It was several days after the date. After Bucky had asked, and you’d agreed to be his best girl, a term that still made your cheeks flush with pleasure. Bucky was a shameful flirt, showering you with affection constantly, but he was a real slow mover, and you were not about to push him into something he wasn’t comfortable with.</p><p>Rose was down for her afternoon nap, and you were baking in the kitchen. It was getting close to Christmas, and you were trying to finish up with the last round of holiday baking before the big day.</p><p>It was hard. Somehow, <em>someone</em> kept eating all of your hard work…well, two someones to be exact—Bucky and Rose.</p><p>Those two were thick as thieves, and you loved it.</p><p>You loved <em>him</em>.</p><p>As if your thoughts had conjured him, Bucky came up behind you. You thought he was going to sneak another cookie, but instead you felt his hands around your waist, pulling you close. His lips grazed the back of your neck, sending your stomach into backflips.</p><p>
  <em>Where is this coming from?</em>
</p><p>Little did you know, Bucky had been watching you from the hallway for a while. He’d just put Rose down for her nap, and the sight of you standing there in the kitchen had taken his breath away.</p><p>You were singing to yourself, flour smeared halfway up your arms as you rolled out the dough. Your cheeks were flushed from the heat in the little kitchen—the cold made your leg ache, so Bucky always kept the house nice and warm for you. The kitchen itself was a wreck, but he smiled, knowing that no matter how messy it got, something good always came out of it. As he watched you navigate the clutter and chaos, he couldn’t help but think of what a lucky man he was.</p><p>Because that’s what you were to him. His island. His calm, quiet place amidst the chaos.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered against the back of your neck.</p><p>You froze, your heart pounding away in double-time. Slowly you turned. Bucky was staring at you intensively, his blue eyes naked and vulnerable with emotion. The corner of his mouth flitted up in a crooked smile, and he tenderly tucked your hair behind your ear.</p><p>“I love you, Y/N,” he said again. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, it doesn’t have to change anything. I just wanted you to know—”</p><p>His eyes went wide and he let out a choked cry as your lips crashed into his, cutting him off. It only caught him off-guard for a moment, before his heart remembered how to beat again and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tightly to his chest. His eyes fluttered closed.</p><p>Bucky’s lips parted, and the feel of his tongue against yours sent electricity coursing through your body. You were a million-watt lightbulb. You were the sun itself, pulling him into your orbit and setting you both ablaze. Strong hands cupped your face and you moaned as he deepened the kiss.</p><p>Finally you both came up for air, standing there with foreheads pressed together as you caught your breath. He was staring at you as if you held the key to the universe itself.</p><p>“I’m in love with you, Bucky. I have been for a while now…I just didn’t want to push you.”</p><p>Bucky let out something in between a laugh and a sob. He looked close to tears. Gently, he caressed your face, his expression darkening slightly as his fingers grazed over the scars. You knew he was still haunted by that day. You all were.</p><p>You took his hand and placed a kiss to the metal, hearing the plates whir in response. The tears spilled over and you pulled him close, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could.</p><p>“I love you Bucky.”</p><p>A kiss to his jawline, and he nuzzled your hair in response.</p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p>You weren’t sure how long you stood there like that, holding each other, but the moment was finally interrupted by the oven timer. Bucky released you and laughed as he brushed the flour from his shirt and hair.</p><p>“Damn, doll, you sure do make a mess.”</p><p>He kissed the tip of your nose, and then laughed again as you scowled and brushed a swipe of flour across his forehead. Still smiling, he turned to the counter and started picking up the bowls.</p><p>“Let me help you with this, go sit down and rest for a bit.”</p><p>“Bucky, I’m fine.”</p><p>He looked at you seriously. “Please, Y/N. The doctor said you shouldn’t be spending so much time on your feet. You already put in a full day’s work—”</p><p>“Behind a desk, with my crutches.”</p><p>“You push yourself too hard. Let me take care of you.” His gaze softened. “I’ll take care of this, and afterwards, we can try some activities that don’t require standing up.”</p><p>You raised an eyebrow suggestively. “Do those activities include making out on the couch like high schoolers?”</p><p>Bucky beamed, and his eyes flashed. “Doll, you read my mind.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>One Year Later</strong>
</p><p>“Rosie? Come here, baby girl, it’s time for dinner.”</p><p>Rose ran into the kitchen and launched herself into Bucky’s arms. He hugged the little girl to him as he grabbed her plate off the counter. Y/N was working late tonight, and Bucky had planned a romantic dinner for just the two of them later, after Rose went to bed.</p><p>It was her last day at the hospital, and she had been working overtime to train her replacement. At Bucky’s encouragement she’d found a position at a pediatrician’s office. It was closer to home and the hours were shorter. He wanted her to keep doing what she loved, but they’d both agreed the schedule at the hospital was running her ragged.</p><p>“Are you gonna help me tonight? Do you remember what you’re supposed to do?”</p><p>“Surprise Mama.”</p><p>Bucky smiled. “That’s right, we’re gonna surprise Mama.”</p><p>Rose didn’t know what was going on, not really. All she knew was that it was a very important day, and that Bucky had planned a big surprise for Y/N. They would wait until she was soaking in the bath, and then they’d get everything ready.</p><p>Bucky sat Rose down at the table and eagerly watched out the window for Y/N, trying to suppress the nervous energy he felt and still the butterflies in his stomach.</p><p>As he watched, he fingered the beaded bracelet on his wrist. Rose had made it for him, and it was his most prized possession. Bucky looked down at the little girl as she colored and ate her dinner, humming to herself. He loved Rosie like she was his own. One half of his heart.</p><p>Gravel crunched in the driveway, and he looked up as the other half drove up. He watched Y/N lock her car and walk up the path to the house. She was limping a little again, and he knew it was because she was tired. His heart ached for her, seeing her still struggling with the aftermath of the accident.</p><p>He opened the door so she wouldn’t have to paw for her keys, and she sighed gratefully as he took her coat.</p><p>“Long day?”</p><p>She nodded. “The longest, but it was the last of them. I’m so glad to be done with that. I’m really looking forward to the future.”</p><p>“Me too,” he replied cryptically with a little smile. “Why don’t you go take a hot bath, let’s just order something tonight. Rosie’s almost done, we can have a late dinner.”</p><p>Y/N hummed. “Sounds great. Thank you.”</p><p>She kissed him, then walked into the kitchen to give Rose a kiss on the head. She didn’t notice that Bucky never called for delivery, he just fussed around the kitchen aimlessly until he heard the bathroom door shut and the water turn on.</p><p>Y/N sighed as she lowered herself into the hot water, closing her eyes as the stiffness left her. She smiled, hearing Bucky and Rose out in the living room. It sounded like they were playing.</p><p>She’d asked Bucky to move in six months ago. He’d severely cut back on his hours at the Compound, acting as a training consultant mostly now. It was something both of them had discussed, along with her own job. Their relationship had become very serious, and neither of them wanted anything to jeopardize it or take away from the precious time they had together.</p><p>The catalyst had been a mission that had gone bad. Bucky had returned home wounded, a bullet in his shoulder and terrified nearly out of his mind that he would never see his girls again. Bucky had told Sam the very next day that he was leaving the Avengers, but Sam had convinced him to stay on as a trainer.</p><p>The last six months had been some of the best of her life. Being able to spend more time with Rose and watching her bond with Bucky…lazy Sunday afternoons together, going on family outings…blazing hot nights in bed with Bucky and soft mornings cuddling beneath the sheets with him.</p><p>And then, just last month, Rose had called him Daddy.</p><p>Y/N had never actually seen anyone melt into a puddle, but that day with Bucky had been close. He had just stared at her, stunned. Rose didn’t even act like she’d said anything unusual, she just cuddled into him further. Bucky had looked up at Y/N, the tears starting to spill over, and she could see in his eyes what he hoped for. And to be honest, it was something she hoped for too.</p><p>Bucky waited until he heard the water turn on, and he launched into motion, clearing Rose’s now-empty plate from the table. She ran to her room and got the items they’d hidden there as Bucky pulled dinner out of the oven. He was honestly amazed Y/N hadn’t smelled it.</p><p>Twenty minutes later and everything was ready. Bucky glanced around the room nervously, making sure everything was in place. He’d gone over the details again and again in his mind, changing the plan about a dozen times before he settled on something simple.</p><p>At first, he was going to take her out to dinner, somewhere fancy. That was too over-the-top, though, Y/N was a simple girl. Then, he thought of just asking her one afternoon, maybe while they were out on a walk while Rosie slept. No, this was something that affected all of them, and he wanted Rose to be a part of it. Bucky looked around the room, glad he had settled on this.</p><p>They’d already discussed it, and he was fairly confident what her answer would be. That still didn’t calm his pounding heart or sooth his nerves. Bucky smoothed back his hair, jumping slightly when he heard the bathroom door open.</p><p>“Bucky, did you already call for delivery? I feel a lot better now, I really don’t mind cooking—”</p><p>Her jaw dropped. Dinner was already cooked, her favorite meal. Soft jazz played in the background, candles lighting the room and reflecting off the flowers on the table. Her breath caught, seeing Rose smiling at her from Bucky’s arms.</p><p>“Y/N?” Bucky said as he kissed Rose on the head. He set her down, and walked over to take both her hands in his.</p><p>He got down on one knee.</p><p>“The night we met was one of the darkest memories for both of us, and I’ll never be glad it happened. I am glad I stopped that night, though. I’m glad I met you, and I’m glad to have you both in my life. I was lost and alone, and you brought me into your lives. You gave me a home.”</p><p>Bucky looked over at Rose, and then up and her. “Y/N, I promise I will spend the rest of my life protecting you both, if you’ll let me. I don’t ever want this to end, what we have here. Our family—our life. I want to build it together. You’re my heart and my home, and I love you so much.”</p><p>Rose handed him a small box, and Bucky opened it, revealing the ring inside.</p><p>“Will you marry me?”</p><p>The tears fell as Y/N smiled at him. She carefully lowered herself to her knees, Bucky grabbing her by the arm to steady her. Cradling his face in her hands she nodded, completely overcome. Their lips met and she giggled as he sat back, pulling her into his lap. Bucky slid the ring on her finger, and she looked up at him in adoration.</p><p>“I love you, Bucky. As long as there’s breath in my body, I’m yours.”</p><p>He kissed her, tears of his own starting to fall. Rosie giggled, and they both held their arms open to her. The little girl launched into her arms, and the three sat on the floor together, lost in each other’s embrace.</p><p>Bucky sighed happily and kissed both his girls. His heart was so incredibly full, it felt like it would burst.</p><p>She had told him once that he’d saved their lives that day, her and Rose, but in reality, <em>he</em> had been the one who had been saved.</p><p>Y/N and Rose had saved him, his two girls.</p><p>His family.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are welcome and appreciated, you can also find me on Tumblr @constantwriter85</p><p>Posting Schedule:<br/>Part Two - Oct 14<br/>Part Three - Oct 21</p></blockquote></div></div>
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